Antsy

Summer. I long for you. My kids long for you. Flip flops, sand, warm summer sun, the smell of coconut sun lotion, the smell of fresh cut grass, the waifting of camp fires & grills, the smell of the lake, the sound of a loon. The green leaves on the trees making cool spots to be lazy in.

I've made up my mind. I am buying a bike. I said I was going to last yr and I didn't. This yr is different. If I wait, then I am putting off the exact thing I need to do, which is to be more active. If I wait til WE can afford it, then I'll never have one. (the old saying like kids eh?)

Went to a second hand clothing shop today & bought a new purse, new shoes & 2 new tops...all for $13.00 WOOT WOOT!!

Anyways, I just dropped in for a few brief moments (seems thats all I ever have to myself lately) to check things out & blog a bit. Sheesh, it would be great if I could get paid to blog..I love to write, I love to read & I could so love that!! Got to go make pork steaks, taters & a veggie for my family of 8..otherwise they'll all be protesting in another hr that "Mom I'm hungry!!"

Hope everyone is doing well! God Bless!!!

Hello I am here, somewhere...

Cabin fever? Not really. More like I would love it if Jillian Michaels were a friend to help kick me in the pants to become more movitated & help me to be creative in exercising. Do I need that drastic a push? Yeah, I think so because I've gotten off track. My eating habits have gone to the way side, what with gas prices, 6 kids in the house..buying the proper foods has not been high priority. I suffer because of it. I eat a lot of what they eat. There are still foods I cannot eat. My teenage kids look at the portions I put on my plate and say "Geez, wish I could eat only that much & feel full."
I feel like I need someone to help push me, not militant like, but jovial friend "I'll kick you in the pants type." I still see myself as the almost 400lb person I WAS. I often do double takes in the mirror because I can't believe it's me. I still keep that 'safe space' around me that I had when I was heavy, that place where because your larger you keep yourself in. My new job does not offer the benefits of having insurance so I am without the proper avenues to keep up medically. I do my best & I know I need to start going to support group, as I need to connect with others who share in some of the same struggles & achievements. My husband is wonderful & caring & its always a blessing when he tells me how attracted he is too me, or how beautiful I am. I do believe that. But there are things in thought processes he can't understand, a part of who I am, who I used to be, that I struggle with sometimes. That little insecure side of me that still jumps up in my face once in awhile. Who would I be without that girl that I used to be? I am thankful of this journey. Really, I am. It's made me grow within myself & my understanding of others.

Winter- Why Are You Still Here?

Winter, I am so done with you. Would you please step off my back porch and quite antagonizing? I wish Mother Nature would swoon us like she did the one week recently. I'm ready to put away my winter coat & pull out my spring jacket!

Wanting to be Tigger, but feeling more like Piglet...

Ok ok so the title may be a little misleading. For this very moment it refers to the fact that I WISH I had as much energy as Tigger appears to always have, but right now I am feeling more like Piglet...little, timid, stuttery & someone who needs big arms to help get to higher places. Although I do have to say Piglet would fit my eating habits lately. No, I don't eat large quantities, but rather things that really shouldn't be fitting into my diet....Piglet.....
I am doing fine. Haven't lost & haven't gained. Can we say PLATEAU?? Alright, so it's been at least 3 months that I haven't lost, well maybe a bit more than that actually...but I haven't exactly been proactive in getting this last 30lbs off. I hate cold weather, so my love of walking outside is not happening right now. I want to join a gym but cannot afford to at this time, so maybe after tax time I can check out a Zumba class or even p90x. I just would really like to tone up.
My internet at home is limited right now to only on my mobile phone. My laptop caught a nasty virus & I am going to have it cleaned & hopefully restored to its former faster self!!
Everyone here is doing fine. Kids being kids & busier than ever!
I changed jobs after 11 yrs and so far love the new chapters that are occuring in my life. My new co-workers are unique & I know I will fit right in! I do miss a few people from my old office, the ones I will always cherish & hopefully stay in contact thru on Facebook, but like my sister said "sometimes it takes a bigger bird to push you out of the nest" wink wink..
Here's a little funny I heard today..."Where do snowmen post their webpages?---On the 'winternet'. :)
Smile!!

Gettin Ready 2 Christmas Shop!

The hubby & I are getting ready to go Christmas shopping, oh my! This should be interesting, my husband loves to shop & I don't like it much! Imagine that?!??? It's not that I don't find it enjoyable sometimes, but usually I have a list & more of an idea rather than vague descriptions. And I don't like massive crowds or rude people. So I ask today that the Angels protect us :)
And that we have no run ins with rude or inconsiderate people. I know thats asking a lot since its so close to the holiday & every shop & store is so busy this time of year. And to think a yr ago I said I would have all my shopping done by opening day of deer season so that I wouldn't have to go thru this! Hmmm....my a class on how to handle procrastination is in order!! Ha!!
My weight loss is doing ok. No losses & no gains to report. This holiday season has found me cheating a bit & for that I feel guilty. I am taking my vitamins as I should & if I feel like I haven't done so well with protein the dietician recommended I drink a lil bit of milk, so I have been.
Well hubby is waiting as I blog to get out there & shop shop shop!
I will blog soon about our adventures!!
Many blessings!

Time in a Bottle.

Today is Halloween. Alas I sit here at work as my kids grow older by the minute & I am not with them to share in the frightful festivities of this 'trick or treat' evening. I'm saddened. I'm missing moments & pictures and rustling, crunching of leaves. I'm missing pulling the jacket lapel up over a shoulder to ensure warmth, and hearing the squeals of frightened delight. I'll get out in time to pick them up from Nana & Papa's as their sugar buzzes spin out of control & eventually come crashing in about a half hr after we arrive in the comforts of home.

I'm blessed.

Truly blessed.

But I miss moments. I'm sure you can sympathize.

My weight has teetered stoically the same. I did have another 5lb loss, which I was pleasantly surprised. But I know in my search to lose these last 30 lbs its going to take more than what I have been doing. I'm ready 2 step it up. I'm ready 2 achieve my goal & set new goals in different areas. I've been bad about carbs lately. Grrr....& with the holidays approaching it"s going 2 be tough but I am determined 2 succeed!! And I am also a little more than upset that it can cost so much to remain & maintain a healthy lifestyle. I want my kids to follow a more balanced lifestyle. My 16 yr old said 2 me the other day "Mom I wish I could eat like you." In that he meant as little as I sit & eat at the dinner table with all of them. Yes, my pouch doesn't allow much, but what he doesn't realize is that I eat healthy in several small meals a day, but I MAKE it a point 2 sit down with everyone (this is something my husband & I totally agree on) at dinner, because thats family time. It's when we 'catch up' & 'keep up' on all levels. And I'm glad my parents made it a tradition in my family growing up....dinner was the time for everyone to sit & have a meal & enjoy eachother! As we grew older of course, those days turned into Sundays...everyone makin it back to mom & dads place to 'keep up' & 'catch up'. Writing this makes me miss my mom & dad who both passed 30 days apart of eachother in 2001.

I'm blessed.

Dedicated to mom...my forever best friend.

Dedicated to dad...my poppa who could fix the world.

Hugs~

^J^

Wedded Bliss

Here we are!! Officially Mr & Mrs Wilson! What a wonderfully eventful day it was!!