Addicted? Or stressed?

Ok so let me begin this sinful confession by stating, yes I have been naughty and eating Raisinets. I love them. I hate that I love them. I re-introduced them back into my life a few weeks ago & now I find myself eating them once every few days or so. They do make me feel "blah" after I have eaten them & they make me terribly thirsty. But the taste is soo sinful I haven't been able to resist. Hopefully this is a passing phase & all will right itself in my diet world once again.

I do have to say I had hit a plateau where I didn't lose much of any in the last month or so & it seems to have broken the pattern by allowing me to lose 3 lbs in 3 days. WooHoo!! I was beginning to get worried. I have worn skimpier things in the past few weeks due to the humid/hot weather we have experienced. Skimpier than I am used to that is. Not tacky, but not too covered up like I used to before. I went swimming with the kids yesterday at the lake & got out there in my tank top & jean cut offs. WOW. I loved it!! I couldn't believe how much I had missed just the simple task of swimming. Thats what a low self esteem does, thats what weighing 147lbs more does to your ego.

Life has a funny way of throwing you small obstacles, or little reminders that you're not 'in charge' of everything in your life, nor do we truly know anyone really personally. I'm thinking thats where my rasinet addiction is stemming from.

I'm sitting here in my air conditioned office about to freeze my fingers off. It's 80 some degrees outside, think I may have to pop out there for few nminutes just to warm up.

Hope you're all doing well!!!!

We've Set The Date!

Bobby & I have set the date for our wedding!! Saturday September 25, 2010. Need to work on all the fine details, but will keep you posted!! Whew, 76 days from today!! Lots of planning, lots of DIY ideas on a close to no-budget! Angels help me now!!! I'm soooooooooooooo excited!!!!!!

^J^

Today. I am tired. I also feel defeated in some ways in my weight loss. Still holding strong to what my last few weigh ins have been like; by no flucuating leaps of gain or lose. But holding steady. Ugh. I neeeeed to do more physically I guess. Thats what I feel will kick it in full gear. That & drinking more water. I've been terrible about it lately, even with the heat wave that has hit us. I've been so tired too. No energy. :(

But had a great 4th holiday. Got some fishing in. Got some R & R.

^j^

Working overtime today. I guess it's not so bad. I try and out weight the fact that I probably won't be getting offered all these extra hrs when we finally get a full work crew going again. Plus its nice to open that check and find a few extra dollars has made it into my hands. I feel 'good' today. Have this slight sinus thing going of which my fiance' has helped me thru by introducing me to the NeilMed Sinus Rinse. WOW. Yes it does help. I remember Dr Oz recommending it in one of his med conferences.

I feel good in that I have maintained my weight for the past few wks. Haven't lost a lick but am staying steady & I will take that. :) I def know I need to get out and do more physical activity. I want a bike but funds do not allow for that right now. I am going to start meeting up with a good friend of mine whom I know thru my work who also had bariatric surgery a few months ago & we are planning on getting together, if not once but twice on my days off to be walking partners. YAY! I'm so excited! I like it because we can share stories & struggles & swap recipes & talk kids & nutrition & be each others support. SHE , by the way, looks amazing!! I am so proud of her.

I have been on this plateau for about 3 wks now. I know to kick it up I have to switch things up a bit for me. I had introduced a few more carbs back into my life recently & I think I need to cut them back once again & also get on a regular work out schedule. Looking in the mirror I feel great & think I look great BUT we all have our own hang ups, mine would be "Holy Bat Flaps" **laugh** yes I wave Hello & Goodbye at the same time with my upper arms. ;) BUT I can tell you I am in a much better place today about it than I was at my heaviest & I thank GOD for that.

I got to drum circle my last rotation of from work. I sooo needed the great meditation I had & I can't wait til the next go round. I always have some pretty amazing messages come thru or make some sort of connection for others that I get messages for. For instance. I had a deceased mother figure come thru for an ex co-worker of mine. She totally took me by surprise when she popped into my meditation, but she had a specific message for her daughter (ex-coworker) to whom I passed on the message and I love making that 'connection'. I love allowing people to know that once we cross over, its not 'over' for us. I love the sense of ease I see on the peoples faces I pass messages on to. I know what its like because I have been in their shoes many times, and I am always taken aback when I get messages from other gifted people who couldn't be more accurate unless they'd have been my surrogate twin all my life & know whats what in my life. I am also looking forward to 'Connections Circle' this weekend, as I heard that there are more people attending & I am excited to meet more 'like minded' & interesting people.

I have a few projects I am trying to work on, only they have only been in the mentally developed stage for a bit now. Nothing 'truly started' yet. I have worked on my poetry. I have done a few drawings. I WANT to get started on jewelry pieces, but I think thats going to be something in the not-so near future. I am looking forward to the time this Fall when all the kids go back to school, and even though I will be sad at first because my 3 yr old will be starting headstart and going half days, I know I will be able to have that time to accomplish the things I have no or little time for now. ;)

I hope you all have PEACE and a POSITIVE attitude.

Remember that when you're having an off day, (or any time really)you can talk to your Guardian Angels & Spirit Guides. Ask them to surround you, for them to allow everything that happens to happen for the 'greater good', ask them to surround you with the white light of God. For them to help keep you free from any harm, any evil, or any negativity. It does work. All you need to do is ask. :)

In Light & Love

^j^

P.S. I wish you all a wonderful 4th of July holiday!!! (Bobby & I are going fishing. YAY!)