Disappointed

Why you may ask? I've put on about 5 lbs :(....
I knew my dress slacks were fitting a bit snuggly. Seems that the weight may be added in the mid-section. I NEED intervention. I went on a internet frenzy looking for recipes for post bariatric patients. I didn't find a lot. I need to cut down in portions, stick to protein & water and I NEED to exercise for real!!!!! Not just running after my kids!! The promise that the weather is on the upswing for better days looks good. If I hadn't just gotten on the scales here at work I wouldn't have known for sure how much I put on...5lbs is 5lbs...
I will overcome this...

Antsy

Summer. I long for you. My kids long for you. Flip flops, sand, warm summer sun, the smell of coconut sun lotion, the smell of fresh cut grass, the waifting of camp fires & grills, the smell of the lake, the sound of a loon. The green leaves on the trees making cool spots to be lazy in.

I've made up my mind. I am buying a bike. I said I was going to last yr and I didn't. This yr is different. If I wait, then I am putting off the exact thing I need to do, which is to be more active. If I wait til WE can afford it, then I'll never have one. (the old saying like kids eh?)

Went to a second hand clothing shop today & bought a new purse, new shoes & 2 new tops...all for $13.00 WOOT WOOT!!

Anyways, I just dropped in for a few brief moments (seems thats all I ever have to myself lately) to check things out & blog a bit. Sheesh, it would be great if I could get paid to blog..I love to write, I love to read & I could so love that!! Got to go make pork steaks, taters & a veggie for my family of 8..otherwise they'll all be protesting in another hr that "Mom I'm hungry!!"

Hope everyone is doing well! God Bless!!!

Hello I am here, somewhere...

Cabin fever? Not really. More like I would love it if Jillian Michaels were a friend to help kick me in the pants to become more movitated & help me to be creative in exercising. Do I need that drastic a push? Yeah, I think so because I've gotten off track. My eating habits have gone to the way side, what with gas prices, 6 kids in the house..buying the proper foods has not been high priority. I suffer because of it. I eat a lot of what they eat. There are still foods I cannot eat. My teenage kids look at the portions I put on my plate and say "Geez, wish I could eat only that much & feel full."
I feel like I need someone to help push me, not militant like, but jovial friend "I'll kick you in the pants type." I still see myself as the almost 400lb person I WAS. I often do double takes in the mirror because I can't believe it's me. I still keep that 'safe space' around me that I had when I was heavy, that place where because your larger you keep yourself in. My new job does not offer the benefits of having insurance so I am without the proper avenues to keep up medically. I do my best & I know I need to start going to support group, as I need to connect with others who share in some of the same struggles & achievements. My husband is wonderful & caring & its always a blessing when he tells me how attracted he is too me, or how beautiful I am. I do believe that. But there are things in thought processes he can't understand, a part of who I am, who I used to be, that I struggle with sometimes. That little insecure side of me that still jumps up in my face once in awhile. Who would I be without that girl that I used to be? I am thankful of this journey. Really, I am. It's made me grow within myself & my understanding of others.

Winter- Why Are You Still Here?

Winter, I am so done with you. Would you please step off my back porch and quite antagonizing? I wish Mother Nature would swoon us like she did the one week recently. I'm ready to put away my winter coat & pull out my spring jacket!