Monday, September 14, 2009

Finding Happy Mediums

Have been feeling tired lately. I think it's because I wake up feeling so wonderful in the mornings, that by the end of the day I have over done it in some ways, physically. By the time late afternoon hits I am ready to drop & take a serious nap.
I am getting my protein in everyday, mostly by way of my whey protein powder that I purchased. Mixed into sugar free pudding. I did eat a few bites of skinless grilled chicken & a tablespoonful of mashed potatoes this weekend. I was surprised that the chicken, which smelled marvelous, I really didn't have a taste for, even though it was juicy & grilled to perfection. The mashed potatoes were great, and after that small sitting I was full for hours after.
I am still struggling trying to get all the water in for the day. Seems like I am constantly sipping water, but still feel parched. I discussed this with the Dr & its typical to feel this way, although my labs this week will tell the true story. It did seem to help a bit when I decided to chew on ice chips on Sunday. It got that 'fuzzy mouth feeling' to go away. I constantly have a bottle of water with me everywhere I go, but it tends to get a little warm before I can finish it & I don't know about you, but I don't stomach warm water very well.
I bought a half gallon of Meijer Organic Lactaid fat free milk. Do I like it? Truth, not so much. Upon first taste it has this vanilla flavor thats not so bad, but then it just tastes like watered down milk. Ugh. But, its lactose free, so it settles better on the belly & has no after effects like regular milk sometimes does. It still could never replace good ole whole milk *laugh*. But I if I drink it, its a 1/3 c. . I don't over do it at this point. I think its going to be better to cook with than to actually drink. :) (note: I still buy whole milk for the kids because they need the extra they get from that since their brains are still developing and they have high metabolisms).
I ate a quarter of a piece of dry whole wheat toast last friday since my pouch was acting up & I thought that it would help. I ended up taking a half of an antacid tablet to calm down the 'bubbly' feeling I had goin on. Not sure what caused it, but it certainly was unpleasant. It finally went away and for that I was glad.
In all when people ask me about my choice to do the surgery..Am I happy with my choice? Certainly. Do I struggle? Sure, sometimes, but I am still only 3 wks out from surgery. The only time I did have reservations about my choice was the two days after my procedure. That was the worst, while I was still in the hospital. I was a bit disappointed this past week when I went to class/support group & found I had only lost 4lbs. What?? You say? Disppointed? Yeah, I know now that that feeling was totally unrealistic. The Dr put it in perspective for me, "if you lost 4lbs every wk for the next yr what would you end up weighing?", like 72lbs or less, I think. Not gonna happen. So that made my mood lighter.
I've also been having some interesting dreams about my weight loss. In which I experience me being 'lighter & doing things I've not done since I was a child.' I guess its my subconscious preparing me for what I am still capable of doing but just haven't because I got busy living life for others & not so much myself. I have in the past few months, been setting aside 'me time'. Its funny to say that I find it a 'guilty pleasure', just because I am not used to it. I know we all need our alone times and in the last ten yrs my alone time has been strictly my work time, which really is not 'alone time', nor 'me time', but I classified it as such. My 'me time' consists of thus far, my class/support group time, my drum circle meetings every other tuesday night. I am interested in taking a "medical assistance program" class this Fall sometime. For me to understand healing & to help heal other people. Even if its only with positive intention.
Am ready to get out in the swing of things relationship wise I think. Not really a 'pressing issue' with me, but rather a "want" of spending time with someone and enjoying times & life in general at this point. If it happens then great :) if not, then thats ok too, and if its just friends then so be it. I'm not about rushing things, but its always nice to share and its been awhile since I felt connected in that way. I've switched up my way of thinking a bit in regards to all of that, but thats for a totally different blog roll *laugh*.
A few things that may seem trivial too you, but things I have recently experienced that made me go 'hmmm cool.' I am tall, but I recently had to slide my seat forward in my vechicle because of the weight loss I have experienced. :) My bras are all on the furthest in points to clasp that they can possibly go, it will mean buying new bras next time I need to adjust. My blue jeans are almost falling off & when I wear them I am constantly tugging them up by the waist because they just don't fit the way they used too. And silly as this sounds it seems to me that hugging my kids means that I can hug them closer than I could before & it feels really good. :) Closer to my heart.
Hope you're all doing well. Peace & love. ^j^

No comments:

Post a Comment