Healing

I must have over done it in the beginning because I was feeling so great! Well, hello! 3 kids, 1 cat, 4 bdrm house, school starting, Dr appts, meet & greets, support group/class..whew, you tell me when I'm supposed to rest. I did here & there, don't get me wrong. I slept well most nights, but it had caught up too me. I went to class/support group last night & I think its truly a matter that I am NOT getting the amount of protein I thought I was. So, back to square one & food journeling, so that I can keep total track of it. All I know, I just want something that I really seem to like & have a taste for. I still have no appetite, and most times my mouth feels dry & has a not so good after taste. :( I am only drinking water, although in group we were told we could drink the "Propel" flavored waters & Crystal Light. I tried the Crystal Light, Raspberry..Yum! But it contains aspertame & gives me headaches :(. So good ole H2O, ice cold will do.

My incision sites looks great. They have all healed well. The only slight pain I have from time to time is actually just because my belly area is shrinking and as its doing that its pulling on an adhesion I have on the bowel to the front of the belly. Weird huh? But hopefully that will resolve itself by just settling in nicely so that I won't have to undergo another laprascopic surgery to get rid of the adhesions. Ahhh, the joys.

I lost another 5.7 lbs this wk. Making it a total of 46 lbs lost thus far. Wow, when I type that. My mind hasn't caught up to the realization yet, although people tell me I look great. I notice it in small ways and you know the old saying "we are all our own worst critics". I am thinking postively though :) always ^i^

I had about a 1/3 c of cream of mushroon soup yesterday. It did taste really good. It was a bite thick for me yet, but I kept it down with no problem and no after effects, so I know this is something I can eat. I used to eat it with those lovely soup crackers or saltines, but I stayed away from those. I do like to eat the low fat cheese sticks in different varieties. I like the colby-jack & the mozzarella, they make for a nice diversion and contain protein as well. I've eaten melba toast dry a few times. Its not so bad when you're feeling out your taste buds and to truly see what your pouch will tolerate. I can't wait til next week when I can graduate further to a more solid form of eating. Not that I won't have to still pay attention to portion size or the fact that I will always have to chew my food throughly and swallow in small bites. But it will just seem nice to have 'substance' I think.

In support group there was a gal who I think is struggling with the fact she just cannot have as much to eat whenever she wants it. She's a few wks ahead of me surgery wise, but for example she ate 4-5 weight watchers butter toffee bars in one sitting. OMG what? Right??? She says she feels like "food has deserted her". She paid for it physically for a day or two after. I'm so glad that the teacher that day was the 'behaviorist' for the weight management center I attend. Because he recognized it right off and we all talked about it for a bit. Slipping back into old habits and thinking your going to get better results because of a decision you made, is NOT going to get you the results you desire. A desire to succeed? Or a desire to sabotage? Well, in my case I feel blessed that I haven't had any of those old desires yet totally. I've taken charge of those areas I struggled in before enough to recognize that at some points I ate because I was lonely, sad, bored. I fill my time with spending more time with my kids. Reading more, spending time with motivational friends. Cleaning house.

I'm back to work this week. Half days only to start til I see the Dr on the 29th. So far two days in & its not been so bad. :) Kinda nice to ease back into the swing of things, but at a half-time pace.

I also went yesterday and had a Reiki and Esoteric Healing done. I loved it. I was apprehensive. I'm a touchy feely person, but I have issues when other people want to touch me, especially on the back. I have no clue why that is, but driving there I was a bit nervous, but when I got there I felt totally relaxed & comfortable. The healing was amazing and I walked out of there feeling like a million bucks. There were some interesting things that happened during the healing session which took over an hour, but as you know and read in my profile, I'm an intuative person, and have also been working on my abilities this summer. I feel totally enlightened and I took away from it a feeling of being closer to God if you can imagine that. If your unsure what either healing is about google each and discover what they mean. Some things are not for everyone :) but isn't it wonderful that we are so blessed to be able to make our own choices?

Peace ^j^